


Past and Present

by bookscorpion



Series: Changing of the Light [3]
Category: Shadowrun: Hong Kong
Genre: Angst, Animal Death, Childhood Trauma, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Parent Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-05-13 13:45:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19252411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookscorpion/pseuds/bookscorpion
Summary: He's six and maybe that's too old for a stuffed toy, but he takes Winston everywhere. Winston is a bear. But also an ork, like Duncan.The story of why Duncan doesn't remember his birthday.





	Past and Present

  


'What do you mean, you don't _know_ when your birthday is?' Rhys put down his sketchbook and pen. It had been a casual question about Duncan's birthday, one he asked once in a while and one that Duncan always dodged with the lie that he didn't like celebrating.

Today, he had decided he was done lying.

'I can't remember. I think it's in May, but I don't really know.' Duncan came to sit next to Rhys on the bed.

'Do you want to tell me?' Rhys put a hand on Duncan's arm, tracing figures of eight on his skin.

'Mhm.' Duncan nodded and then fell silent. He hadn't thought about that night for a long time.

He's six and maybe that's too old for a stuffed toy, but he takes Winston everywhere. Winston is a bear. But also an ork, like Duncan. He's got tusks and so does Duncan, since earlier this year. They're still new enough that he checks every morning if they have grown bigger overnight. He's the first ork kid in the neighbourhood to get tusks.

Right now, he clutches Winston to himself, standing in the dark kitchen. There's something moving in the dark. Duncan puts the glass of water he came to get on the table, careful to not make a sound, and sneaks to the door. He plans to run across the hallway as fast as he can and dive under the covers before whatever it is can get him. Maybe Meghan will let him sleep in her bed. Meghan is sixteen and really good at keeping monsters away.

He counts to three and runs.

There's a loud bang and a scream behind him, a deep voice roaring in anger. He bursts through the door and jumps into his sister's bed but she's not there. Duncan pulls the covers over himself anyway, flinches at another bang. He's trying very hard not to cry, hugs Winston tightly. 

The door opens quietly and he holds his breath, hoping he's well enough hidden. He wishes he had crawled under the bed. Too late now. Something pulls away the covers.

'Get up! Get up, we need to get out!' Meghan's whisper sounds so scared that Duncan starts to cry after all. He sits up and sees her grabbing an armful of clothes before she pulls him to his feet. Her grip is so hard it hurts and he almost drops Winston. Meghan opens the window and lifts him outside, climbs after him.

'Run!' She tries to pull him after her but he tears away.

'What about mom and dad? We can't just sneak out!' He is frozen, can hardly get the words out between big sobs. 

Meghan picks him up, drops some of the clothes. She doesn't gather them up, just runs with Duncan in her arms. 'We'll meet them later.'

They hide in one of the abandoned buildings around the corner. Duncan cries himself to sleep, curled up in his sister's lap.

For the next few days, they move from one squat to the next, only coming out at night, keeping away from people. Duncan wants to ask for help, but Meghan tells him that bad people are looking for them and to stay hidden. There's little food and even less warmth until they find an abandoned van and move in. 

Meghan keeps telling him that their parents will find them. Duncan doesn't believe her. He wants to go _home_ and one day, when Meghan is out trying to find food, he does.

He gets lost.

Nothing looks familiar and he can't find back to the van either. He wanders the streets for a long time, Winston hidden under his jacket. Some people try to talk to him, ask him where his parents are and he runs. 

It's night when he finds the house. The door is open and he slips inside. There's nobody there. Someone took all the furniture, what little is left is smashed and broken. Shards and splinters crunch under his shoes. The house smells bad and people have painted things on the walls. Duncan goes from room to room but his parents are nowhere. 

In their room, the smell is worse. There's a drift of dead flies on the window sills. One of the walls has a dark stain on it and so has the floor.

Meghan finds him curled up in a corner of their old room. She hugs him and tells him that mom and dad are gone. They won't come back. They are dead.

Duncan is slow to understand. Like grandma, Meghan tries to explain, remember when we went to the funeral?

But Duncan suddenly remembers the cat he found this summer. The cat had been hit by a car and had crawled under a house to die. It had been dead when he had found it and he had gone back a couple of times, fascinated despite himself by the decay. 

He knows why all the flies were in their parents' room now.

He doesn't speak for weeks. Meghan can barely get him to eat, he just sits and sleeps a lot. She does her best, finds food, clothes, even a few toys for him. He doesn't want any of it, except Winston.

Slowly, he comes out of his silence. Meghan tries to teach him to read and write, to keep him occupied. He plays in the overgrown lot the van is parked in, but never strays outside the fence. If someone comes near, he hides.

Meghan starts to leave him alone for a couple of hours every day. She says she has found a job and that soon, they can afford to get a room somewhere. Move out of the van. Every time she leaves, Duncan is afraid she is not going to come back.

One day, she doesn't.

Duncan waits for her until all of the food is gone. He waits until he's so hungry that he _has_ to leave. 

He never sees her again.

'Do you know what happened to her?' Duncan had been silent for so long that Rhys gently nudged him to get his attention.

'No. I tried finding out when I was with Lone Star, but I couldn't. We were SINless and in the Barrens, no one cares about one more dead ork. I'm pretty sure she got killed. She would have come back for me otherwise, would have figured out some way to get me.' Duncan shrugged. 'My parents might have pissed off some gang. Drugs, maybe. I don't know. I've stopped trying to make sense of it long ago.'

Rhys hugged him. 'I'm sorry.'

Duncan gave him a squeeze and barked a toneless laugh. 'You want to know the best thing? I kept Winston. I managed not to lose him in all those years on the street. He stayed at the bottom of my backpack, I took him with me every time I moved to a new place. I never let anyone see him because you can't be tough and dangerous and have a _teddy_. But it made me feel better than he was there. Even when I was at my most fucked up - always looking for the next fight, using whatever drugs I could get when there was no fight to be had. I would have killed anyone who touched Winston.' 

'But now he's gone. Should have brought him with me to Hong Kong. I didn't think my life would go down the drain one day after I got there. He was the last thing I had from before.' 

They were both silent for a few minutes. Duncan was surprised by how painful this still was. After all these years, he had thought the pain would have lessened. But clearly, ignoring it had done nothing to blunt its edge. He had had enough for one day. 'Can we talk about something else?'

Rhys kissed his forehead. 'Sure.'  
  


* * *

  
  
'Duncan?' Rhys clearly has something planned, Duncan can hear it just from the way Rhys calls his name. He comes into the living room to see Rhys place a package all wrapped in tape on the table.

Rhys nods at him. 'It's for you.'

'What is it?' Duncan turns it over but there's no hint what it contains. He pulls out his knife and goes about carefully cutting open the tape.

'This took some doing.' Rhys has taken a seat on the couch and watches him. 'I called in a few favours, found out what happened to your stuff. Auctioned off, mostly. Luckily, there were good records for once. And the current owner was convinced to sell when I said that it would make someone very happy.'

Duncan only half-listens while he opens the package. He knows what it is even before he sees what's in the brown wrapping paper, the familiar, comforting scent strong in his nose. Winston still looks exactly the same, only has acquired a patch on one paw and a new nose. 

Lifting him out of the package, Duncan slowly pets his fur. He doesn't know whether to laugh or cry, he just knows he's so glad to have Winston back that it hurts.

Rhys smiles at him when he finally looks up. 'Happy Bearsday.'

art by [EK Weaver](https://www.pillowfort.social/Bigbigtruck)

**Author's Note:**

> Beta read by [Raunchyandpaunchy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/raunchyandpaunchy/pseuds/raunchyandpaunchy) \- thank you!


End file.
